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Vitamin Q: the book!

~ Friday, October 11, 2002
 
NAUGHTY CHILDREN

Some inappropriate songs young popstars have given us:

1 Musical Youth - Pass the Dutchie: a dutchie, so they said, when the Midlands kids had this novelty hit, was a West Indian cooking pot, but when did you last pass a cooking pot round 'from the left hand side'? And did it 'a-go bong!'. No, I think not too. May have something to do with 'cutchie', a West Indian word for a joint.

2 France Gall - Les Sucettes: naughty Serge Gainsbourg wrote this hit for the teenage vedette. It's a song about a girl who loves to suck lollipops, with all the double entendre madness that you might expect. She was not at all pleased when it was explained to her.

3 Michael Jackson - Ben: an adolescent Mike croons a paean to his great mate Ben, except the song in question was really about a rat from a horror film.

4 The Brady Bunch - Candy: the moppets from the US sitcom sang this (really quite good) bubblegum number. Only the most pure at heart will fail to spot the sexual shenanigans flashing through the 'sweetshop' imagery. 'Sugar shopping all through the night' indeed. I think you will find that candy stores close at sundown.

5 Serge & Charlotte Gainsbourg - Inceste de Citron: it's a pun, apparently. Something to do with zest, but hey, if you're looking for someone to strip half butt-naked in a video and sing an incest ballad with his pubescent daughter, then Serge is your man.

6 S Club Juniors - Automatic High: forget the fact that their new song is called New Direction, a fnarring pun that was lame enough when it was the title of a 70s porn mag, how about this bunch of middle school show offs singing their biggest smash with a lyric quite obviously comparing adolescent sex with drugs. Crazee.

Source: my head.

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