I FOR AN EYE

Some versions of the Cockney alphabet, aka the taxi driver's alphabet etc:

A for 'orses / Gardner
B for mutton / you go / slive in Canada
C for miles / yourself
D for dumb / payment
E for brick / knocks you out / either
F for vescent / ready
G for goodness sake / Indian
H for a scratch / a ride
I for an eye / the Engine
J for screepers / oranges
K for Sutherland / teria
L for leather / pixie
M for sis / a mock chop at the Deep Sea
N for Hoxha / a penny / ness
O for the wings of a dove / the rainbow
P for a whistle / relief
Q for the pictures / playing snooker with
R for Ashe / bitter
S for Rantzen / you
T for two / sharp
U for me / got to come
V for Las Vegas / pitch
W for a quid
X for breakfast
Y for heaven's sake / mistress
Z for the doctor

Source: various, including some new ones.