VitaminQ - a temple of trivia lists and curious words
Vitamin Q: the book!
~ Saturday, April 26, 2003
SCOTTISH NATIONALISATION Lesson 56
Here is this week's vocabulary lesson for those aiming for Scottish citizenship:
1 fit fit fits fit fit? - a required saying in Aberdeen, particularly while trying on shoes in Saxone* on Union Street and meaning 'which foot fits which shoe?'
2 yawrigh? marigh, mnaepesht, ahwal'is, yonnae botes? monnae botes, fer's skipr - required in Anstruther and the East Neuk, meaning 'Are you all right? I'm fine, I'm not intoxicated, I always walk this way. Do you work on the boats? I do, my father is a ship's captain.'
3 he disnae ken whit bucket day it is - required in south Edinburgh, meaning that the said person is of such low intelligence that he doesn't know which day to put his garbage out for collection.
4 eat up, yer at yer blin' auntie's - required in Aberdeenshire, a phrase meaning help yourself to more cakes and sandwiches, your aunt is blind and won't notice that you are squandering her resources.
5 ah ha'e ha's but ah'll hae tae hae a ha' - required in south Fife, as overheard on a Kirkcaldy bus, where two elderly women were discussing their clothing plans for a forthcoming wedding - 'I hate hats, but I will have to have a hat'.
*Saxone, the shoe shop chain gets its name from a shock football result many decades ago, when Kilmarnock (of whom the Scottish founder of the chain, then just one market stand, was a keen supporter) beat Glasgow Rangers 6-1 (in Scots, sax-one) The shop name pronunciation has changed now to 'sax-own'. This, commonly believed to be a myth, appears to be strange but true.