WINGS OF DESIRE

Some excellent butterfly and moth names:

Alder Kitten / Small Angle Shades / False Apollo / Bleached Pug
Aquamarine Hairstreak / Beautiful Snout / Pale Brindled Beauty
Ruddy Carpet / Moonlight Jewel / Setaceous Hebrew Character
Flounced Chestnut / Scarce Chocolate-tip / Raspberry Clearwing
Klug's Xenica / Confused Pellicia / Lemon Pansy / Pretty Pinion
Cynthia Silkmoth / Dew Footman / Dingy Shears / The Drinker
Small-spotted Flasher / Forest Pierrot / Cloudless Giant Sulphur
Great Sooty Satyr / Smoky Wainscot / Pallid Tiger Swallowtail
Heart and Dart / Red Helen / Rannoch Sprawler / Union Rustic
Oslar's Eacles / Black and White Aeroplane / Light Know Grass
Glassywing / Hoary Footman / One-eyed Sphinx / Splendid Royal
Double Kidney / Pebble Hook-tip/ Suspected / Chimney Sweeper
Diana Moonbeam / Nut-tree Tussock / Frosted-green Lutestring
Isle of Wight Wave / Lobster Prominent / Ruby Tiger / Neglected
Lapland Ringlet / Water Betony / Guatemalan Calico / The Hermit
Lettuce Shark / Rice Looper / Woolly Bear / Lesser Fiery Copper
Scarce Vapourer / Staff Sergeant / Mexican Sister / Heath Rivulet
Tropical Least Skipperling / The Lurcher / Spanish Gatekeeper
Dark Spectacle / Case-making Clothes Moth / Northern Spinach
Straw Underwing / Northern Grizzled Skipper / Zebra Longwing
Pine Processionary / Pale-shouldered Brocade / Apricot Sulphur

I've missed out the wonderfully named fritillaries who deserve a list of their own at a later date... honourable mention to the billy-goat plum stinging caterpillar!

Source: various

 
RIBTICKLING ACCOUNTS

Some amusing comments from genuine banking application forms:

We have now been introduced to the grandmother, who produced a deposit.
Facilities were reviewed annually, with reviews taking place every 12 months.
The customer was self-employed but lost his job when he made himself redundant.
Our Customer is a self-confessed businessman.
He is an Italian national, trained in Italy and working for the established "family firm" We would therefore like the account opened as soon as possible.
"Purpose of Overdraft" - rent, food, toothpaste and Blutack.
We have been bouncing on him to control him.
The customer is a "Hooray Henry" and a first class prat.
We don't know what colour underpants the customer wears, but we could find out if you need it for your file.
The customer is suffering from internal bleeding and has difficulty controlling his fluid intake which is causing him discomfort with his bladder. Under the circumstances, it would be inappropriate to press him too heavily at this point.
Customer works for the British Antartic Survey. He lists entertainment expenditure as nil as there is not much nightlife in the Antarctic.
Career Development Loan- date of birth - 31 July 1924
Mrs Chamberlain has a joint with her husband.
Our customer is 46 years old, lives with his parents and is interested in model cars. He lives a simple life and is a boring old sod.
As a result of an illness, he died of ill-health.
We have been grilling Mr Bacon over his excesses.
Customer considered "scatterbrained" - has a marriage arrangement of close to open warfare.

NB These are all genuine, unlike the lists of 'hilarious' things written by schoolchildren in exams, or by drivers on insurance claims, which always smell of being made up by people with even more time on their hands than me.

Source: compiled by staff at one of the UK's main banks. Thanks to my banking mole.

 
TEN BY THREE

There are only ten body parts with three letters:

1 leg
2 ear
3 rib
4 arm
5 hip
6 gum
7 eye
8 jaw
9 toe
10 lip

Of course, there are many slang ones too, and ones that are not really body 'parts', eg gut, fat. There are contractions (eg lid) and pedantic obscurities (eg rods in the eye), but it's more or less just the ten. A quiz night favourite (see also: what's on the obverse of a two pence piece; in which town is St Edmund buried; which Scottish football team is mentioned in the Bible etc).

 
HONEY TONGUED

103 people's suggestions for 'my favourite word':

lugubrious / crepuscular / pickle / requiem / quagmire / anyway / flan / snooze / corduroy / heather / cookie / serene / monkey / flibbertigibbet / tetchy / gnarly / plinth / imperial / frump / pilchard / diphthong / simulacrum / paradox / mollusc / ambivalence / aquifer / aardvark / petard / scabies / doily / transmogrify / calamity / onomatopoeia / threnody / swank / elephant / mint / opsimath / sphincter / molybdenum / whelk / serendipity / giblet / rainbow / cerulean / malarkey / turquoise / loquacious / precarious / roadkill / juxtaposition / fuselage / lentil / bordello / smock / gargantuan / inamorata / rhubarb / lasso / purple / swizzlestick / zeitgeist / epitome / harmony / curmudgeonly / phlegm / jive / contrast / plectrum / segue / macabre / moth / vibe / synchronicity / plethora / loophole / acquiesce / catalyst / oxymoron / arcane / beeves / shampoo / delirium / assimilate / nibble / squiggle / reverie / prissy / mew / liaison / moist / syzygy / glimpse / sassy / melodic / ubiquitous / malarkey / cloaca / shenanigans / cognac / ointment / wench

Personally, oh how can I choose, I like nearby, pippin, spillage, behalf, cotton.

Source: denizens of cyberspace

 
REMEMBER REMEMBER

12 common mnemonics:

1 Every Good Boy Deserves Favour / Fun (lines on a treble clef; the spaces are remembered as FACE)
2 She Makes Harry Eat Onions (for remembering the Great Lakes in order)
3 Tall Girls Can Flirt And Other Queer Things Can Do (Moh's scale of hardness of minerals from talcum to diamond)
4 Mites grow up, Tights come down (difference between stalagmites and stalactites)
5 Spring Forward Fall Back (clocks change by one hour at beginning and end of summertime)
6 My Very Easy Method - Just Set Up Nine Planets (nine planets in order from the Sun)
7 Lucky Cows Drink Milk (larger Roman numerals in ascending order)
8 Richard of York Gave Battle In Vain (colours of a rainbow in order)
9 The Old Arab - Carries A Heavy - Sack Of Hay (for remembering trigonometry equations)
10 Divorced Beheaded Died Divorced Beheaded Survived (six wives of Henry VIII)
11 Kings Play Cards On Fat Girls' Stomachs (kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species)
12 Beer before wine, everything fine, wine before beer everything queer (debatable drinking rule)

Source: various

 
WAKE UP BE BRIGHT

The 13 episodes of Bagpuss:

Ship in a Bottle
The Owls of Athens
The Frog Princess
The Ballet Shoe
The Hamish
The Wise Man
The Elephant
The Mouse Mill
The Giant
The Old Man's Beard
The Fiddle
Flying
Uncle Feedle

Like Fawlty Towers, there were only ever 13 episodes of this children's animated puppet series.

 
REST AWHILE

10 favourite benches:

1 Mullion Cove, Cornwall
2 Worcestershire Beacon, Malvern Hills, Worcestershire
3 Courtyard, Saint Michael’s Mount, Cornwall
4 The churchyard, Breedon on the Hill, Derbyshire
5 Waseley Hills Country Park, Worcestershire
6 Pendennis point, Falmouth, Cornwall
7 The graveyard, Jordan’s Quaker Meeting House, Buckinghamshire
8 My garden, Kings Heath, Birmingham
9 Fox Rosehill Gardens, Falmouth, Cornwall
10 Top of the cliff, Dunwich, Suffolk
11 Saint Anthony in Roseland, Cornwall

As chosen by poet David Hart here.

 
YOU'LL RUIN YOUR EYES, YOUNG LADY

Briatain's ten favourite children's novels (BH*):

1 Roald Dahl - Matilda
2 Kenneth Grahame - The Wind in the Willows
3 CS Lewis - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
4 AA Milne - Winnie the Pooh
5 JRR Tolkien - The Hobbit
6 Roald Dahl - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
7 Arthur Ransome - Swallows and Amazons
8 Roald Dahl - The BFG
9 Lewis Carroll - Alice in Wonderland
10 Frances Hodgson Burnett - The Secret Garden

*Before Harry

Source: BBC Waterstone's poll 1997

 
YOU THE READER part 4

An occasional update on what people are searching for when they end up here:

1 ginger suppository*
2 virginity + Billie Piper
3 draw a cartoon of lady who has scissor in her hand
4 vitamin q shirt**
5 rhyming poems about cheetahs
6 symbol for Jupiter's beard
7 genus of the Banff Spring snail
8 the word spraint
9 how to sort a sandcrack
10 black panty girdle

*nothing to do, one hopes, with Geri's Kettle Chip habit, or the following entry
**sorry, but, unlike other blogs, VitQ doesn't yet offer merchandise, nor, we hope, does it have many readers stylistically challenged enough to want any

Source: tracker

 
Hello and welcome to Vitamin Q, a trailer park of frivolity

Just to remind you: this sort-of-blog belongs to Roddy Lumsden, a puzzle writer and poet from Scotland now living in Bristol in England. I post lists, curiosities and fragments which please me as a lover of trivia and reference. They tend to reflect my interests which include pop, nature, words, Scotland, food, folklore and literature. I post a few items most weeks, so do bookmark* and return.

*If you forget to do this, and want to get back here, just type vitaminq (no space before q) into Google - you'll find me.

 
SAY CHEESE

Some teenagers' theories on Da Vinci's painting of 'Mona Lisa':

I think the Mona Lisa is a noble lady who Leonardo tried to make smile after alot of hard work she finally put a smerk and he kept that image in his head so he could paint it.

I think the Mona Lisa was not smiling at the time she was painted, but because Leonardo was being paid to paint her, and would have been killed if he revealed how ugly she truly was.

Maybe she was smiling because Leonardo da Vinci kissed her...and her lips got smudged and it looked like a smile. That's my Theory!!!!

Also known as la Giaconda, this in my opinion is a bizarre peak performance by Leonardo Da Vinci. Happens many times when artist and model are juxtaposed for a while and the artist gets supra motivation enabling him to deviate from the actual features of the model whereby a Magnum Opus is created with a few million brush strokes.

The thing about the Mona Lisa is that she's not always smiling. Only when you look at certain places on her face does she crack a smile.

The answer is very simple...Mona Lisa is smiling because its a picture portrait. Who would frown in a picture? Heard the saying "say cheese?" Don't make it harder than it is.

The real reason for her half smile is because she probably had some crooked teeth that she did not want da Vinci to paint.

I think that da Vinci was naked while he was painting her. Hence the mysterious smile. She is looking at him like she wants to laugh, but at the same time she wants to know if he's up to something else more seductive.

My theory of the Mona Lisa painting is that Leonardo da Vinci was a lonley man. Many people thought he was gay which probably made him have no luck with women. The painting of Mona Lisa to him was probably a girl he made up, his dream girl, a girl he wished he could some day have. In my guess that is what I think the Mona Lisa may mean.

Da vinci was a lot more religous than some may think. He believed in souls and femine energy and masculine energy, and that no person is complete per say with out both... It is not a girl that looks like Da Vinci, but Da vinci looking like a girl. Also, the name, Mona Lisa, is not just made up. The god of fertility, is Amona. a man with a rams head...and the godess or something is named L'isa.

Mona lisa was a self portrait of Leonardo da Vinci picturing himself as a woman, or mabe since one fact about Leonardo was a jokster he dressed up like a girl and painted a portrait of himself like that to see how long it takes someone to figure that out, but since that's history; we may never know.

I think that Leonardo drew Mona Lisa Smiling because he drew it right after they had sex. They were in love. Everyone thought da Vinci was gay, but I think that it was a cover up for the affair he was having with Mona Lisa.

I think she smiles like that because she got punched when she was younger. She probably got into a fight with another person in school and got her teeth punched out.

She is stupid so she smiles.

Napoleon carried this picture around and I don't think he would do that if it was a secret picture of a man. All the artists during that time were robbing graves to see what people looked like and if he did that he probably didn't draw himself in a dress.

Source: You can find these here, along with some more scholarly theories.

 
HANDS OUT

Some palmistry bunkum:

The palm contains lines pertaining to fate, life, the heart, the head and health. These are the areas on the fingers which pertain to certain qualities (first section up to tip):

thumb - love (ball of the thumb), logic, will
index finger - domination, ambition, religion
digitus impudicus - success, recreation, impulse
ring finger - vanity, pessimism, optimism
pinkie - cunning, purpose, oratory

Source: 'palmistry chart' on reverse of fortune telling card from a machine in San Francisco's brilliant Musée Méchanique, a museum of slot machines.

 
MAKE IT UP NORTH

11 things invented by Canadians:

1 the walkie-talkie
2 the game Balderdash
3 Superman
4 basketball
5 the dental mirror
6 rollerskates
7 paint rollers
8 insulin
9 Smarties
10 the Wonderbra
11 the cigarette packet

 
NOMINAL NOTES

Some curious name trivia:

PRODUCTS

Jif cleaning products changed their name to Cif
Marathon chocolate bar changed its name to Snickers
Immac hair remover products have recently been rebranded as Veet
Opal Fruits sweets meekly became Starburst
Mr Dog food for small dogs became the regal sounding Cesar
Oil of Ulay face cream pushed out the boat and daringly became Oil of Olay
Gravy and sauce firm Knorr seems to change its name to Knorr (with the K sounded) every few years to fox the public
Despite years with Name Change Coming Soon on the packets, deep-frozen 'canapés' Crispy Pancakes have decided not to bother with the deed poll

PSEUDS

Sometimes pseudonyms cover more than one person. Ellery Queen, the detective writer, was actually two cousins, Frederic Dannay and Manfred B Lee. The name Carolyn Keene has been used by a number of writers who have penned the adventures of girl detective Nancy Drew over the years. The name Nicolas Bourbaki was (and continues to be) used by a group of French mathematicians for publications since the 1930s. The mystery novels of Emma Lathen are actually written by two friends, Mary J Latsis and Martha Henissart. Similarly, the name of the 'author' M Barnard Eldershaw, an Australian novelist and feminist was a composite of its two inventors, Marjorie Barnard and Flora Eldershaw.

POETS

The Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa (1888-1935) had at least twenty heteronyms (multiple pseudonyms). Some of these were philosophers, prose writers, theorists, pen-pals, and all alter egos. These creations would be each other's supporters, critics and influences. Three of Pessoa's heteronyms wrote poetry of high quality - Alberto Caeiro, Ricardo Reis and Alvaro de Campos - each in a different style to the others. Some of Pessoa's alter egos wrote in English (he grew up in South Africa). Other heteronyms included Bernardo Soares (a prose writer), C R Anon, Alexander Search, Dr Panacracio and Jean Seul.

AUNTS

My mother's mother was one of twelve Chalmers sisters:

1 Jean (nee Jeannie)
2 Aggie (Agnes)
3 Rae (Rachel)
4 Fay (Euphemia)
5 Sis (Susan)
6 Nelly (Helen)
7 May (Mary)
8 Liz (Elizabeth)
9 Anna (Annabella)
10 Belle (Isabella)
11 Nettie (Jeanette)
12 Cathy (Catherine)

PARROTS

The parrot in Disney's Aladdin is called Iago.
There is a parrot in the Tintin stories called Lago.
The parrot in cartoon series Cities of Gold was Kukapetl.
The parrot in Blyton's Adventure books was Kiki.
Long John Silver's parrot in Treasure Island was Captain Flint.
Dr Dolittle's loquacious and over-anxious parrot was Polynesia.
Neither Flaubert's Parrot or Monty Python's Norwegian Blue were named.

STARS

Barbara Hershey was previously named Barbara Seagull (though this was not her original name which was Herzstein)
Samuel Goldwyn's name was Samuel Goldfish (an Anglicised Jewish name)
Randolph Scott's real surname was Heron

CAST-OFFS

When a director wants to disown a movie he/she has been involved with, it is credited to the name Alan Smithee.

Similarly, I have been told (by Chris Meade, head of the organisation Booktrust) that the name Chris Meade is sometimes used when an author does not want to use their real name for whatever reason. It is an anagram of Archimedes, which is somehow relevant.

When a British member of parliament wishes to resign, since this is not allowed, he/she applies for the post of Crown Steward and Bailiff for the Chiltern Hundreds or the Manor of Northstead. These posts do not really exist, but being appointed to them means that the MP has a 'paid crown post' and so is instantly removed from their parliamentary duties.

 
RAINBOW PEOPLE

A dozen famous people whose real names were colours:

Gaye Advert (Gaye Black)
Dana (Rosemary Brown)
Helen Hayes (Helen Brown)
Angie Dickinson (Angeline Brown)
Ann Summers (Jacqueline Gold)
David Ben-Gurion (David Green)
Mystic Meg (Margaret Lake)
Dennis Price (Dennistoun Rose-Price)
Larry Grayson (William White)
Cilla Black (Priscilla White)
David Jason (David White)
PD James (Polly White)

Source: various

 
HOT PANTS!

Those 'rears-of-the-year' in full:

1976 Barbara Windsor
1981 Felicity Kendal
1982 Suzi Quatro
1983 Lulu
1984 Elaine Paige
1985 Lynsey de Paul
1986 Anneka Rice / Michael Barymore
1987 Anita Dobson
1988 Su Pollard
1989 Marina Ogilvy (daughter of Princess Alexandra)
1992 Ulrika Jonsson
1993 Sarah Lancashire
1994 Mandy Smith / Richard Fairbrass (of Right Said Fred)
1996 Tracy Shaw
1997 Melinda Messenger / Gary Barlow (of Take That)
1998 Carol Smillie / Frank Skinner
1999 Denise van Outen / Robbie Williams
2000 Jane Danson / Graham Norton
2001 Claire Sweeney / John Altman
2002 Charlotte Church / Scott Wright

The Rear of the Year award is given annually in the UK to male and female celebrities (mostly singers, comedians and soap stars) with the shapeliest backsides. It is sponsored by clothing companies (currently Matalan). The award was at first occasional and for women only.

Source: www.rearoftheyearcompetition.com

 
TIME LORDS

Mark McDonnell sums up each of the versions of Dr Who in five words:

William Hartnell - cantankerous old exiled Edwardian grandfather
Patrick Troughton - scruffy mop topped cosmic hobo
Jon Pertwee - velvet dandy man of action
Tom Baker - curly wild eyed bohemian genius
Peter Davison - cricket loving restless galatic innocent
Colin Baker - loud garish arrogant erudite crusader
Sylvester McCoy - pacifist professor spoon playing manipulator
Paul McGann - handsome Byronic quick minded adventurer

A lifelong fan of sci-fi series Dr Who, the actor Mark McDonnell has appeared in several Big Finish Productions audio dramas, notably in their Dr Who range alongside McCoy and McGann. The second series of Mark's comedy sketch show Velvet Soup begins on Tuesday 20th May 10pm BBC2 (UK) and runs for four weeks.

 
SPICE RACK

French Four Spice (Quatre Epices): white pepper, cloves, nutmeg, ginger

Chinese Five Spice: fennel, star anise, Szechuan pepper, cinnamon, cloves*

Cajun Five Spice Mix: cumin, oregano, chili, mustard, paprika

Tunisian Five Spice (galat dagga): cloves, cinammon, melegueta pepper, nutmeg, pepper

Japanese Seven Flavour Spice (shichimi togarashi): sancho (Szechuan pepper), white and black sesame seeds, nori (laver seaweed), chili, dried orange or tangerine peel, poppy seeds**

Thai Seven Spice: chili, ginger, black pepper, coriander seed, garlic, cumin, lemon peel***

*may contain cassia, licorice, aniseed, ginger, nutmeg etc
**may contain rape seeds, pepper leaf, hemp seeds etc
*** may contain dried lemongrass, kaffir lime leaves, galangal, cinammon

Source: various

 
FABULOUS BAKER BOY

Some of the rules for making adverts with the Pillsbury Doughboy animated 'spokesguy':

1 He might be teased, but in the lightest possible way
2 He's never taken advantage of and never made the butt of the joke
3 Precautions are taken to ensure that the character is never shown in a pose that is awkward or unflattering
4 In general, you don't see the Doughboy's rear end, and if you do, there should be no 'buns'
5 He should put his hand on his hip, keep his chin down, cock his head to the side
6 He shouldn't do clenched-fist stuff as this draws attention to the fact that he doesn't have fingers
7 His skin should look like dough - off white, smooth, but not glossy
8 He should not be too portly
9 He should walk with a swagger
10 When he runs, he doesn't take large strides - he takes little steps
11 He should be slightly luminous, but without sheen
12 When he falls down, his hat should jump off his head a little bit which gives him the opportunity to readjust it, and give a sheepish smile
13 You should never see the whites of his eyes, as he has a tendency not to look as lively face on
14 His stomach should be proportional to the rest of his body

Source: various

 
TASTELAND

20 surprisingly good taste combinations:

1 grilled fish & cranberry sauce
2 kale & mushrooms
3 chorizo & lentils
4 Vegemite & Dijon mustard
5 soy sauce & butter
6 carrots & sesame oil
7 cheddar & pears
8 cassoulet & IPA
9 venison & juniper
10 rhubarb & salmon
11 lamb & ginger
12 fish roe & spaghetti
13 wheat beer & oysters
14 feta & garlic
15 tom yam soup & rambutan juice
16 mango & spinach
17 shrimps & raspberry sauce
18 Oreos & absinthe
19 hot dog & coffee soda
20 champagne & crab spring rolls

Source: various

 
THE NIGHT BEFORE

50 of the many acts who have covered Lennon and McCartney's Yesterday:

PP Arnold / Chet Atkins / The Bar Kays / Florence Ballard / Band of the Irish Guards / Count Basie / Shirley Bassey / Acker Bilk / Cilla Black / Michael Bolton / Pat Boone / Boyz II Men / Ray Charles / Perry Como / Vic Damone / Placido Domnigo / Val Doonican / En Vogue / Percy Faith / Marianne Faithfull / Jose Faeliciano / Marvin Gaye / General Mikey / Bobby Goldsboro / Jan and Dean / Tome Jones / Howard Keel / Patti Labelle / James Last / Liberace / Vera Lynn / Matt Monro / Nana Mouskouri / Willie Nelson / Lou Rawls / Marty Robbins / Smokey Robinson / Royal Philharmonic Orchestra / The Seekers / Frank Sinatra / Spirit / The Supremes / Carla Thomas / Sarah Vaughan / The Ventures / Wet Wet Wet / Andy Williams / Nancy Wilson / Klaus Wunderlich / Tammy Wynette

Source: generated from the brilliant here. Me, I'd give them all up to hear Emmylou sing Here There and Everywhere.

 
HIDE THE GINGER BEER

The crime-solving children's gangs in the books of Enid Blyton:

The Famous Five - Julian, Ann, Dick, George, Timmy*
The Adventure books (eg The Castle of Adventure) - Jack, Lucy-Ann, Dinah, Phillip
The Secret Seven - Barbara, Jack, Colin, Pam, George, Janet, Peter
The Mystery books (eg The Ring o Bells Mystery) - Roger, Diana, Barney, Snubby
The Five Find-outers (The Mystery of ____ books) - Larry, Daisy, Pip, Fatty, Bets
The Secret books (eg The Secret Mountain) - Nora, Mike, Peggy, Jack

*Timmy was a dog. The Find-outers dog was Buster and too daft to be included as number six; the Mystery series dog was Loony.

Source: various

 
VITAMIN QUEENS

1 The Queen of the music halls - Marie Lloyd (Victorian superstar)
2 The Queen of rai - Cheikha Rimitti (Algerian musician)
3 The Queen of the cowgirls - Dale Evans (Western actress)
4 The Queen of courts - Helen Wills (tennis legend)*
5 The Queen of the horror movies - Evelyn Ankers
6 The Queen of trumpet - Valaida Snow (30s jazz musician)
7 The Queen of romance - Barbara Cartland
8 The Queen of country music - Kitty Wells
9 The Queen of silent serials - Pearl White
10 The Queen of the creeks - Mary Musgrove (US colonist)
11 The Queen of crime - Agatha Christie
12 The Queen of Clean - Linda Cobb (household tips expert)
13 The Queen of housewife rock - Helen Reddy
14 The Queen of soul - Aretha Franklin
15 The Queen of burlesque - Gypsy Rose Lee
16 The Queen of gospel - Mahalia Jackson
17 The Queen of Tin Pan Alley - Bernice Petkere (songwriter)
18 The Queen of disco - Donna Summer**
19 The Queen of mean - Leona Helmsley
20 The Queen of the blues - Bessie Smith***
21 The Queen of the piano - Clara Wieck (later the wife of Schumann)
22 The Queen of the rustlers - Ann Bassett (wild west adventuress)
23 The Queen of the Mods - Cathy McGowan (60s pop TV presenter)
24 The Queen of the Bs / comedy - Lucille Ball
25 The Queen of technicolor - Maria Montez
26 The Queen of the channel - Alison Streeter (sea swimmer)
27 The Queen of the bluestockings - Elizabeth Robinson
28 The Queen of muckrakers - Jessica Mitford
29 The Queen of hearts - Diana Spencer
30 The Queen of the strippers - Lili St Cyr (burlesque star)
31 The Queen of the dippers - Martha Gunn (18th century bathing magnate)
32 The Queen of Hollywood - Myrna Loy****
33 The Queen of boogie - Hadda Brooks (singer)
34 The Queen of the air - Amy Johnson (aviatress)
35 The Queen of rock and roll - Stevie Nicks
36 The Queen of the Dogsleds - Nell Shipman (early adventure film star)
37 The Queen of the Confederacy - Lucy Holcombe Pickens
38 The Queen of the beatniks - Judy Henske (cult folk'n'blues singer)

*sometimes Billie Jean King
**sometimes Gloria Gaynor
***sometimes Dinah Washington
****sometimes various others (K Hepburn, J Roberts, G Garbo etc)

Source: various

 
DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY

The taglines of some local mobile discos:

00 Heaven - A Nights Entertainment You'll Always Remember
Atomic - Radiating Great Sounds From The 40s To The Noughties
Astral Disco - Making Your Party Rock!
Bangin' Choons - The Best Sounds from the 50s - Today
Childrens Uptown Disco - Take the Hassle Out Of Your Day
Del Boy's Entertainment - Being Different is Our Business
Discomasters - We Play The Music You Want
Headquake Disco's - Getting Bum's Of Seats & Feet Stepping to the Beat!!
Inspiration - You've Heard the Rest - Now Book the Best
Nite Flite - We Set the Standards Others Follow
Planet Disco - Reliable Cheerful Service - All Era's
Shindig CD Disco - Every Night is Party Night

Source: Bristol Yellow Pages

 
ROUNDERS

10 ball games

1 handball
2 netball
3 football
4 volleyball
5 stoolball*
6 baseball
7 patball**
8 korfball
9 basketball
10 pinball
11 dodgeball

*an old form of cricket
**similar to rounders

I thought there would be more than this.

 
NORTHERN FUN

The events and contests of the World Eskimo-Indian Olympics:

Race of the Torch
One-Hand Reach
Alaskan High Kick
Indian Stick Pull
Eskimo Stick Pull
Ear Pull
Toe Kick
Kneel Jump
Scissor Broad Jump
2 Foot High Kick
Greased Pole Walk
Arm Pull
One Foot High Kick
Ear Weight
Blanket Toss (aka Nalakatuk)
Drop the Bomb*
4 Man Carry
Knuckle Hop (aka Seal Hop)
_____________

Fish Cutting Contest
Seal Cutting Contest
White Man vs Native Woman Tug o' War
Muktuk Eating Contest**
2002 Miss WEIO Pageant
Native Baby Contest
Native Regalia Pagent
Dance Team

*this event involves three men carrying another, who has stiffened his limbs, by his hands and feet until he drops
**muktuk is whale skin and flesh, said to taste 'like fresh coconut'

Source: full details and 2002 results here.

 
CLOTH EARS

25 garments celebrated in song:

1 Evening Gown - Mick Jagger
2 Mini Skirt - Lightnin' Hopkins
3 Baggy Trousers - Madness
4 The Thong Song - Sisqo
5 Raspberry Beret - Prince
6 Famous Blue Raincoat - Leonard Cohen
7 Homburg - Procol Harum
8 Kool in the Kaftan - B A Robertson
9 Trouser Suit - Betty Page
10 Green Shirt - Elvis Costello
11 Undone (The Sweater Song) - Weezer
12 Vicar in a Tutu - The Smiths
13 Blouse and Skirt - Gregory Isaacs
14 Jumper on the Line - R L Burnside
15 New Dress - Depeche Mode
16 Jacket Hangs - Blue Aeroplanes
17 Kimono - Pizzicato Five
18 Knickers - Chumbawamba
19 Man's Tight Vest - Baby Bird
20 Hot Pants - James Brown
21 From Panties to Bloomers - Jimmy Lewis
22 Petticoat Fever - Merle Travis
23 Silk Pyjamas - Thomas Dolby
24 Velvet Pants - Propellorheads
25 My Blue Bonnet Girl - Jimmie Davis

Source: various

 
CHEESE AND CHEETAHS

Children say the funniest things part 87:

Years ago, my six year old niece let me in on a secret: Cheetahs never change their socks she told me.

Around 1987, while working in a castle gift shop, outside of which there was a wishing well, I heard a small boy and his grandmother talking:

Did you throw a penny in the wishing well?
Yes
What did you wish for?
To make a big splash.

And today, doing writing exercises with a group of twelve year olds, one girl, when asked to write a description / definition of Dairylea cheese wrote the following: 'The smell is like a moral priest praying on the side of caviar'.

She was a strange one.

 
READERS' DIGEST

10 more recent search engine requests which ended up here in Stuffsville Central:

1 poems about mother writing from Heaven*
2 she-hulk naked
3 aggle + rhyming words**
4 wolf + spraint
5 ancient laboratory trivia
6 sex***
7 yum yum pig's bum
8 wigan kebabs****
9 infant cat mew disease
10 Shakespear's miss u poem*****

*other poem subjects sought on my site recently have been 'Irish setters' and 'rhyming poems I can give to my girlfriend'
**let's see now: haggle, gaggle, straggle, waggle, erm, um...
***how many pages of results can you surf?
****a Wigan kebab is, I think, a sandwich with two meat pies as a filling
*****yo! miss u 2, Shakee

Source: the tracker

PS There is more new stuff below - it just got out of synch because I am techno-limited and can't work the drafts bit of blogger Pro