SHIVER ME TIMBERS

Seven pirates I saw, yesterday:

1 ruby cheeks, little glasses, tiny rolled up ears, cotton wool hair, belt buckle the size of a ship's biscuit tin, tweed breeks, small but very sharp cutlass

2 hook nose, mouth like an old purse, ratty beard tied into points with ribbons, huge hoop earring, twinkling evil eyes, striped jersey, parrot on shoulder

3 pulsing eyes, Lemmy moustache, cleft chin, orange turban hat, hoops in ears, oversize pistol, boots up to thighs, with cup tops, squeeze box tied to belt with orange yarn

4 big tea cosy hat with skull and crossbones, gaunt, narrow-eyed face, short woolly facial hair, billowing smock shirt with grog stains, one hand missing, replaced by hook

5 foxy facial fluff, patch over one eye, mean as a wasp in a hailstorm, teeth like knives, huge foldy-over boots, fading treasure map in top pocket

6 Hispanic prince-like, ringleted raven hair, ski-slope nose, shiny scimitar, crimson and ruffs, moleskin breeches and goddamnyouall

7 papyrus skin, droopy tash under beaky hooter, lazy eye, spotted neckerchief with clinging bits of sprat, peg leg, silver buttons, big bag hat