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Vitamin Q: the book!

~ Friday, June 03, 2005

VitQ puts 10 macho American stereotypes through the Village People Test and the My Little Pony Test:

Members of the Village People disco act dressed as stock characters from American life and work. In the late 80s, Hasbro extended their My Little Pony toy range by bringing out Big Brother Ponies, burly plastic stallions with individual identities.

1 Cowboy Was there a Village People character? Yip, with fringed jacket, big-buckled blue jeans, checked shirt and ten gallon hat. Was there a Big Brother Pony? Yes, cookie-coloured Tex, who wore his mint-green stetson with pride on his pink mane. A cactus motif was emblazoned on his side.

2 Football Star - Village People? No sporting figures in the Veepers (as their fans apparently call them). Big Brother Pony? Yes, the blue-haired Quarterback who had a pink helmet with a red strap.

3 Construction Worker - Village People? Yes. Check shirt with ripped off sleeves, bulging tool belt, big boots, hefty gloves, sweatbands, hard hat. (Colin Powell dressed up in a version of this costume at a security meeting in Indonesia in 2004 to perform YMCA with diplomatic staff.) Big Brother Pony? Nothing to compare.

4 Marine - Village People? No, but for the song 'In the Navy', Alex Briley (who wore T-shirt and jeans before settling on the GI costume) wore a navy uniform. Big Brother Pony? A turquoise stallion named Salty, who wears a fetching sailor hat atop his purple mane, with SS Pony written on it.

5 Biker - Village People? Not surprisingly, yes. Leather waistcoat, tight black T, chains, studded bracelets, peaked cap, leather gloves. Big Brother Pony? No, but Steamer, with his purple engineer's cap ('PONY RR'), streaked blond hair, spangled cheek and gold train tattoo, looks like he has seen quite a bit of engine grease.

6 Indian Chief - Village People? Yes, with feathered headdress or Mohawk crest, warpaint, beaded neckwear and skin trousers. Big Brother Pony? Yep – Wigwam, whose yellow feathered headdress set off his orange plastic beautifully.

7 Trucker - Village People? No – maybe too downmarket and blue-collar for the Studio 54 showbiz set? Big Brother Pony? Yes ('4-Speed') – complete with yellow hard hat and bandanna, with a dump-truck symbol on his side.

8 Baseball StarVillage People? No. Wrong kind of diamonds perhaps. Big Brother Pony? Slugger, the Ty Cobb of Pony World, sported a blue MLP cap and bandanna and a floor-length blonde silky tail which must have got dusty as he pranced around the bases.

9 Soldier - Village People? Yes, though the costume, mostly tight khaki fatigues, is more adaptable than others in the band. Big Brother Pony? No – perhaps war was too scary for 'pony mommies', as MLP collectors are known. But Barnacle, the pirate pony was quite frightening too, with his flaming neon orange tail, skull and crossbones hat and hairy blue hooves

10 Cop Village People? Correct and present, sir. With holster, tight breeches, big boots and peaked cap, ready to patrol the mean streets of Disco City. Big Brother Pony? No, perhaps there are too many police horses already, but there was Chief, a fire horse in a scarlet helmet, ready to put out your blazing saddles.

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