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Vitamin Q: the book!

~ Saturday, June 18, 2005
 
SATAN NEEDS FIRELIGHTERS

This week, posters at the Derren Brown forum have been hurling 'Rubbish Insults' at eachother. Here are some of my favourites:

1 Syd kills eggboxes by stamping on them
2 Mr Twain thinks horse racing is medicinal
3 Tina sucks at kerby
4 Kelly doesn't really care if cockroaches get cancer
5 Plasma thinks purple makes a moo sound
6 Titanja tries to eat pink butterflies but she misses her mouth and they escape
7 SSJ's nan picked him up from school one day and called him Sweetpea and everybody laughed and he went red
8 Titanja cuts the labels out of her clothes and puts them in a box
9 SSJ's biceps are so big, he can't put his arms down the side of his body properly and looks like he's carrying two sheep all the time
10 DBS collected tokens from a cereal box and sent off for some Sea Monkeys and cried when they arrived and didn't look like they did on the picture with little faces and crowns and things
11 A Friend goes into a room and forgets what she went in for
12 A Friend spent 3 hours on a sand mansion. Then a dog weed on it
13 STOWTB thinks High Wycombe is in Wales
14 Syd likes to trip herself up and pretend she's flying
15 Kelly tries to pick up her own toes when she's tidying her room
16 Tina can't spell 'fish'
17 Tina touches old ladies' hair on the bus when they're not looking
18 Kelly likes looking at animals from behind
19 STOWTB thinks it's funny when people drop magazines
20 Balloon animals make WSM cry

Derren Brown is a British illusionist who used to live round the corner from me. You might call him the British David Blaine but his fans probably wouldn't like that.

There are over 100 pages of this. If you really like it.

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