ON YOUR MARX

The real names of the Marx Brothers:

Zeppo Marx - Herbert
Harpo Marx - Adolph (changed to Arthur)
Chico Marx - Leonard
Groucho Marx - Julius
Gummo Marx - Milton



And what their names should have been had they starred in...

a spaghetti western: Taco Marx / Poncho Marx / Bronco Marx / Gaucho Marx / Amigo Marx

a horror flick: Pyro Marx / Torso Marx / Romero Marx / Psycho Marx / Cujo Marx

a Warhol film: Nico Marx / Slo-mo Marx / Dallesandro Marx / Gonzo Marx / Narco Marx

a romance: Calico Marx / Tango Marx / Stiletto Marx / Vino Marx / Romeo Marx

a martial arts movie: Judo Marx / Kendo Marx / Dojo Marx / Sumo Marx / Budo Marx

a sci-fi film: Pluto Marx / Robo Marx / Chrono Marx / Draco Marx / Apollo Marx /

a re-make of Trainspotting: Jambo Marx / Wide-o Marx / Portobello Marx / Giro Marx / Square-go Marx

an adult movie: Porno Marx / Fellatio Marx / Gigolo Marx / Vibro Marx / Nympho Marx

a remake of Crocodile Dundee: Dingo Marx / Troppo Marx / Aggro Marx / Drongo Marx / Seppo Marx

 
FIRST THOUGHTS

Thirty-two synaptic shortcuts from Google:

The first thing I thought of was Humpty Dumpty on the wall
The first thing I thought of was trying to wring out a crocheted afghan
The first thing I thought of was a yellow wrench
The first thing I thought of was toxic runoff from all the groves
The first thing I thought of was that old radio on the porch of the cabin
The first thing I thought of was manned space exploration
The first thing I thought of was a word search puzzle
The first thing I thought of was the nasty ending to Seven
The first thing I thought of was street signs
The first thing I thought of was Talking Heads
The first thing I thought of was the golden age Superman
The first thing I thought of was a goodnight kiss
The first thing I thought of was your Captain Caveman feet
The first thing I thought of was a spider with a towel on its head
The first thing I thought of was Dancing Nancies
The first thing I thought of was the American flag
The first thing I thought of was having a beer
The first thing I thought of was Spock recovering Kirk's body
The first thing I thought of was spiking a volleyball
The first thing I thought of was a posse of homeless guys
The first thing I thought of was reindeer sex
The first thing I thought of was Grampa telling the story of how he died
The first thing I thought of was you in Dresden
The first thing I thought of was a big fat square white doughnut
The first thing I thought of was a short story by Roger Zelazny
The first thing I thought of was a '67 Olds Tornado
The first thing I thought of was robes
The first thing I thought of was that she was channeling me
The first thing I thought of was uh-oh
The first thing I thought of was covering the damn thing with duct tape
The first thing I thought of was an albino transvestite
The first thing I thought of was Nebuchadnezzar's dream

 
FIRST TIMES

Ten true confessions from Google:

I lost my virginity in the backroom of a bookshop in Staines
I lost my virginity in a hotel in Birmingham
I lost my virginity in the Student Union carpark after a poetry reading
I lost my virginity in the back seat of a '54 Ford
I lost my virginity in a Detroit bus station
I lost my virginity in a strange spelunking accident
I lost my virginity in the stockroom at McDonalds
I lost my virginity in a bush during Faith No More
I lost my virginity in New York, twice
I lost my virginity in broad daylight

 
EAU DE, EAU DE

What British people smelled of in the early 1950s:

Women

dandruff
candlewick
camphor
powdered milk
a 'top-note' of 'Evening In Paris'



Men

dog
diesel
boot dubbin
battery fluid
pigeon-feed
dried cuttlefish
cooked breakfasts
rough tobacco
week-old hair-oil
belched-back beer

Source: first page of Gordon Burn's 1991 novel Alma Cogan

 
FANTASTIC FOES

Villains from the first 50 issues of The Fantastic Four comic:

The Mole Man
The Skrulls from Outer Space
Miracle Man
Sub-Mariner
Dr. Doom
Kurrgo, Master of Planet X
Puppet Master
The Impossible Man
The Red Ghost
The Mad Thinker
Dr. Doom
Super Skrull
Rama Tut
Molecule Man
Hate-Monger
Mole Man
Infant Terrible
Diablo
Invincible Man
Attuma
Gregory Gideon
The Frightful Four
Medusa and Gorgon
The Inhumans
Galactus



Thanks to Velvis for this list.

 
INDIAN FEATHERS

Some interesting names of birds found in India:

Rain Quail / Rosy Starling / Isabelline Wheatear / Dusky Crag-Martin / Sirkeer Malkoha / Little Brown Dove / Bank Myna / Graceful Prinia / Hooded Pitta / Red-Whiskered Bulbul / Jungle Owlet / Glossy Ibis / Bengal Florican / Paddyfield Pipit / Collared Pratincole / White-Bellied Treepie / Grass Owl / Finn's Weaver / Bengal Bush Lark / Houbara / Jerdon's Baza / Indian Plaintive Cuckoo / Ashy Woodswallow / Silver- Eared Leiothrix / Indian Chat / Scarlet Minivet / Swamp Francolin / Crimson-Throated Barbet / Tickell's Flowerpecker / Whiskered Tern / Booted Eagle / Temminck's Stint / Small Buttonquail / Great Pied Hornbill

Verditer Flycatcher / Quaker Tit-Babbler / Bay-Backed Shrike / Gold-Fronted Chloropsis / Black- Crowned Night-Heron / Jungle Nightjar / Indian Hanging Parrot / Jack Snipe / Slaty-Legged Crake / Marshall's Iora / Streaked Spiderhunter / Crab Plover / Little Scaly-Bellied Green Woodpecker / Goliath Heron / Velvet-Fronted Nuthatch / Pompadour Green Pigeon / Greater Adjutant / Red-Rumped Swallow / Brahminy Shelduck / Ultramarine Flycatcher / Malabar Trogon / Changeable Hawk-Eagle / Ashy-Crowned Sparrow-Lark / Rufous Sibia / Western Reef-Egret / Painted Spurfowl / Indian Skimmer / Wynaad Laughingthrush / Laggar / Bronzed Drongo / Speckled Piculet


A Malabar Trogon, yesterday

Source: The Book of Indian Birds (OUP)

 
CIRCUS GAMES

Typical 'fight' combinations at the Roman circus:

a wolf against a hippopotamus
a rhinoceros against a giraffe
a panther against an ostrich
an Ethiopian against an elephant
a German against a bear
a woman against a dwarf
a Christian against a lion

Source: Around The Roman Table (P Faas, Macmillan)

NB There is much debate amongst historians about exactly what went on in the arena. Such contests were common though it appears, and always to the death. In times when Christianity was more dominant, although Christians would not watch fights with animals due to pagan connotations, extreme cruelty as mass entertainment was still common, especially in the form of mutilation and burning of perceived enemies.

 
NO MAN

Scottish islands with a population in single figures:

Eilean Shona - 9
Erraid - 8
Soay - 7
Sanday - 6
Auskerry - 5
Danna - 5
Gometra - 5
Oronsay - 5
Tanera Mor - 5
Lunga - 4
Gairsay - 3
Inchtavannach - 3
Moncrieffe - 3
Davaar - 2
Eilean Ban - 2
Eilan Donan - 1
Inchcolm - 2
Inchfad - 2
Rona - 2
Vaila - 2
Innischonan - 1
Sanda - 1
Shuna - 1

NB Some of these islands have larger and more populated namesakes

Source: 2001 census