ALE MEET AGAIN

A VitQ special! My friend Gareth and I took non-beer drinker Andy on a 'real ale tasting', taking notes as we went. It should be noted that beers are chageable, and it can be the bar's fault not the brewer - so these were our judgements on what we gulped on the night. Sorry this is a bit long, but we enjoyed it, believe me.

1 Tiger (Everard's, Leicester) 4.2%

Appearance: Gareth – same colour as Tizer; good head / Roddy – marmalade, light tan shoe polish / Andy - almost headless, clear, inviting Smell: Gareth – very mild / Roddy – slight smell of lemon, wine gums / Andy - very mild; barely beerlike Taste: Gareth – subtle fruity taste with astringent finish; a bitter bitter; socks, in a good way / Roddy - tonic water, envelope glue, wine gums / Andy - delicate Comments: Gareth – an almost session beer but just on the bitter side of guzzleable / Roddy – a little tart, giving way to grass-root sweetness / Andy - subtle but good; could probably drink a gallon without irritation

Rating: Gareth - 6 / Roddy - 4 / Andy - 7 / Average Rating: 6

2 Guzzler (York Brewery, York) 3.6%

Appearance: Gareth – stout head; colour between honey and a dehydrated man's urine / Roddy – very pale, froth thick, straw gold / Andy – gold with a fine, creamy head Smell: Gareth – floral, hoppy / Roddy – ginger, sherbet lemons / Andy – yes, good Taste: Gareth – dry citrus with a lip-smacking drier finish; straw and lemon / Roddy – lemon meringue, apricots, lemon squash, bike tyres / Andy – like kitchen cleaner, but in a good way! Yes, I do know what kitchen cleaner tastes like Comments: Gareth – moreish but leaves you needing an aqua chaser / Roddy – nice mix of squashy sweetness and undertones of sourness and rubber / Andy – couldn't drink more than a couple; it's a grower

Rating: Gareth - 7 / Roddy - 7 / Andy – 7.5 / Average Rating: 7

3 Osprey (Cotleigh Brewery, Somerset) 5.0%

Appearance: Gareth – amber / honey; great head / Roddy – light, yellow gold; clingy head; slightly viscous / Andy – dark gold Smell: Gareth – vague fruity smell / Roddy – wax, aluminium, shoe polish / Andy – can't smell this one Taste: Gareth – complex, judderingly heavy, leading to a sweet-sour honey taste / Roddy – caramel, nickel, grapefruit, hard toffee / Andy – works on the taste buds as you drink on Comments: Gareth – to be savoured not glugged; lovely but a little too strong to drink more than a few / Roddy – light colour for a strong one; strong aftertaste; not one to drink while playing cards / Andy – a little more character than others; a beer I could drink in quantity

Rating: Gareth - 6 / Roddy - 6 / Andy - 8 / Average Rating: 7

4 Landlord (Timothy Taylor, Keighley) 4.3%

Appearance: Gareth – no real head, copper / tawny colour / Roddy – watery, misty gold, barley sugar colour, nearly no head / Andy – puddle water – possibly could be the glass Smell: Gareth – none I could pick up / Roddy – malt, biscuits, malt biscuits / Andy – can't smell this one either Taste: Gareth – distinctive bitter mouthful with malt undertones, dry finish / Roddy – rainwater, brandy, barley sugar, star anise / Andy – malty, quite like the Osprey Comments: Gareth – one of my favourites; not a bad pint here, but not a good one either / Roddy – never a personal favourite, though others go mad for it / Andy - similar though not as good to Osprey

Rating: Gareth – 7.5 / Roddy - 6 / Andy – 6.5 / Average Rating: 7

5 IPA (Fuller's, London) 4.8%

Appearance: Gareth – copper colour, less head than a French aristocrat during the revolution / Roddy – copper, clear, Irn Bru, headless, slightly viscous / Andy – dark and clear, no head Smell: Gareth – kinda woody / Roddy – full-fat milk, mould / Andy – sorry, I am a man with almost no sense of smell Taste: Gareth – deep malty and metallic flavour; 2p coins, brown sugar, toffee / Roddy – metallic, toffee, frothy coffee, furniture polish, pot plant leaves / Andy – malty with a slight tang Comments: Gareth – nice but not my kind of beer / Roddy – dark, deep, too much so for an IPA? Classic 'ale' taste / Andy – good swilling beer; I could ease my way through a few of these

Rating: Gareth – 6.5 / Roddy - 8 / Andy - 7 / Average Rating: 7

6 Brewers Gold (Pictish Brewery, Rochdale) 3.8%

Appearance: Gareth – golden – what did you expect? Decent head / Roddy – ligher than gold; spare froth; slightly viscous / Andy – gold, no head, looks like a lager Smell: Gareth – lemon washing up liquid (but nice) / Roddy – musk and ginger / Andy – strong, hoppy Taste: Gareth – very hoppy and spicy; vague lemon and ginger notes / Roddy – ginger cake-icing, slight wheat / lemon, spice; touch of the US microbrews / Andy - a little like Guzzler; full flavour Comments: Gareth – moreish session beer, could drink it all night / Roddy – very, very good – dark but not chemical undertone to a fruity, sexy beer / Andy – very moreish, very distinctive, a class drink

Rating: Gareth - 8 / Roddy - 9 / Andy – 8.5 / Average Rating: 8.5 - The Winner!

7 Black Magic (Hanby Brewery, Shropshire) 4%

Appearance: Gareth – black as a Satanist's soul (well, a little bit red too) / Roddy – dusky froth, dark ruby, cola colour / Andy – a classic mild Smell: Gareth – chemical and burnt; v vague roast chocolate / Roddy – footbath, chemistry set, bicarb, raincoats / Andy – good; cardboard but good Taste: Gareth – toffee, malt, toilet cleaner, oaked white wine, herbal medicine / Roddy - model railways, blackcurrants, chocolate, rhubarb, kiwi fruit, sea-waves, wine gums / Andy – unusual, flat but not unappealing Comments: Gareth – gets better as you adjust to it / Roddy – sour strong flavours and high alcohol for a mild – very strong character, unusual, not for all / Andy – I think you either like mild or you don't; 'a Tuesday lunchtime drink' - nice if you're in the mood

Rating: Gareth – 5.5 / Roddy - 6 / Andy - 7 / Average Rating: 6

8 Polly's Folly (Buffy's Brewery, Norwich) 4.3%

Appearance: Gareth – brown to rust coloured, not quite cinnabar / Roddy – thin froth, orange brown / Andy – another dark one; small, smooth head Smell: Gareth – sudsy smell, slightly sweet / Roddy – sweet sherbet, citrus, ginger / Andy – very little Taste: Gareth – bit spicy – cloves and vanilla notes; tasted like Calvin Klein's Obsession smells; 2p coins again / Roddy – vanilla, caramel, ice cream wafers, seaweed, thinners, fusewire / Andy – very full, a little sharp Comments: Gareth – nice but not a session beer / Roddy – not a strong 'iodine' beer but good; prefer full-on seaweed taste or none / Andy - announces itself a little too strongly; I'd be wilting after a couple

Rating: Gareth - 6 / Roddy – 6 / Andy – 6.5 / Average Rating: 6

The pubs were: The Angel, The Island Queen, The Narrow Boat and The Wenlock Arms, in Islington / Hoxton, London